The other day someone asked me a BIG question:
When are you going to have another baby?
It made me laugh because around our house we've been asking ourselves the same thing!
If it was up to my husband, we'd already be trying. And these days, I'm right there with him! We survived the first year of parenthood and have this bright, beautiful, happy toddler to show for it. Luna is almost 15 months and it's the BEST age. She's fun and playful and so willing to help out and I honestly can't get enough of her. And that makes me want to have more kids right this second!
But I also have a lot of fears. I remember the struggles from that first year so well. And while I might be overthinking things, having another baby is a big decision. You know?
That's where our great debate comes into play. Or ... I guess it's just MY great debate. Because let's be honest, Kris knows what he wants and he's just waiting for me to make up my mind. So what's really going on in my head right now? For starters ...
I'm nervous about the pregnancy part.
Oh man, pregnancy was rough for me the first time around. I lost nearly ten pounds and burst capillaries in my face from throwing up so much - and that was just the beginning! There's also delivery and recovery to get through. And this time around, I'll have to do it all while caring for an active toddler. How do other moms do it?!?!
And then there's the newborn stage.
I love love love being a mom. But those first few months are just plain hard. You're tired and emotional and overwhelmed from all the changes. Your marriage goes into crisis mode from the stress and sex is off the table. And then there's breastfeeding. It was so much harder than I expected! Hopefully it'll all be easier next time around but I'm still a little anxious about it.
It'll be a big change for our firstborn.
I know, I know. Other people have multiple children all the time and their firstborns somehow get through it. But I'm so sensitive to Luna's feelings! I never want her to feel unloved or pushed aside. And right now, it's easy to be patient with her. But what about when baby #2 comes along? Will I still be able to keep it together when she's having a bad day?
But we want a big family.
And that means at some point Luna will have to go through that transition into big sisterhood. And actually, it might not be so bad! She's so caring and snuggly and I can imagine her being a little helper. In the short term, it might be rough but I think we'll all be that much happier in the long run.
And we're not getting any younger.
Plenty of people have babies into their late thirties and forties - that's totally fine! But as you get older, there are additional medical considerations that come into play. And I'm a natural worrier - I'd rather keep things as uncomplicated as possible. And that means the sooner the better when it comes to having more kids.
THERE'S A CATCH.
And that's my husband's job. He does a lot of traveling - sometimes for long periods of time - and it makes planning a little bit harder. Would I rather deal with morning sickness alone or risk going into labor alone? Or would we rather put off baby #2 altogether for longer than either of us anticipated? It's a tough decision and one that we'll have to make sooner rather than later.
I still have a few reservations but it miiiiiight be time to seriously consider baby #2. I'll make sure to keep you posted :)
P.S. What are your thoughts on having more kids? Do you have a timeline in mind? What are your fears about it? And if you already have more than one child, how do you manage it?!?! Let me know in the comments below!
UPDATE: You guys! It’s August 2019 and I wanted to give a quick update to this blog post. It’s always felt like the chapter to a book that’s never been finished - especially now that we’re thinking about baby no. 3!!! - so here’s what happened:
After a LOT of conversations we decided to try for baby no. 2 right before my husband deployed . We could have tried in September but I really was worried about morning sickness. I felt like … if I got pregnant in October, I’d have time to say goodbye and adjust to life without him before I started getting really sick. It was a HUGE risk - we basically had one chance and if I didn’t get pregnant, we wouldn’t be able to try again for another six months.
I realize now how lucky we were - I found out 7 days into his deployment that we were expecting and everything fell right into place. Morning sickness wasn’t *quite* as bad the second time around. I made sure to eat every two hours, took medicine, and drove Luna to the movie theater for popcorn and slushees every other day. I was tired - SO tired - but also felt incredibly lucky. Lucky that I had the chance to spend those six months alone with my big kid before everything changed. Kris came home in March and Stella was born in June (you can read her full birth story here!!) - and even that went better than I ever could have imagined!
I guess what I’m saying is that … after all the worrying and debating and back and forth … it all worked out. And I know things don’t always go exactly according to plan. But just this once, it really, really did. And if you’re debating about baby number two (or THREE!!!) I hope it all works out just right for you, too, mama.
The image(s) featured in this post were captured by Pineland Photography.